Knowing when it's just not working

I'm abandoning "The Creativity Book" exercise. I'm sure it works very well for some people, but I'm finding the exercises repetitive and in some cases, so obvious that I'm insulted that the author thinks I'm not already using some of the techniques. Perhaps creativity is not my problem. That leaves me with productivity issues. Time to get cracking on those, then.

I am speechless, but not wordless

A writer's headway through a work in progress is measured in words. Some of us may talk in terms of scenes completed, chapters finished, heroic steps completed, but on the oh-so-important, oh-so-ugly first draft, it's word count that gives us proof that we are moving forward. We set a daily goal. promise ourselves that we won't let anything get in the way of accomplishing that goal, and then we write. Sometimes the words flow and we fly by the number. More often, for first timers at least, the words aren't so readily at our fingertips, and we check the word count every sentence, even though we know we can't be close. I set my goal, at what I think are an attainable number, but the days I don't make goal are more often than the ones that I do make them. Not making the goals has never made me want to quit writing, however, and so I slog on. That's what this post is about - the cumulative value of slogging on.


This weekend, I added up all the chapters and scenes I've written for my two novels. To say that I was pleasantly surprised is an understatement of massive proportions.

Suclimation - 50132 words
Circus Freak - 53519 words

Excuse my repetition from the last post, but I have to say it again - I AM A WRITER.

Neither book has reached the halfway point, but considering how much will be taken out by editing, I have a very good start. Most importantly (this akes me smile, every time I think it), I am too far in to give up. My "babies" deserve to grow up.

#writechat, How do I love thee?

If you're familiar with Twitter, you recognize the # symbol at the beginning of the title of this piece as the start of a "hashtag". If you're not, don't worry, this isn't a love letter to Twitter, and you don't have to be a part of Twitter to appreciate what that "#writechat" has come to mean to me. What you do have to understand is how important group interactions can be to someone who practices a craft as solitary as writing.

First, what is #writechat? It's a very open group discussion every Sunday, 2-5pm CDT, on Twitter. Twitter, with the limiting aspect of 140 words (130 for this discussion, because each post must include the phrase #writechat if you want others taking part to see it) doesn't encourage lengthy discourses. With its free for all membership, a lot of people can take part very quickly, and it's very hard to keep up any discussion going more than a few sentences. Then there's the technology of Twitter, which may slow down, or even prohibit, a participant's responses, effectively taking them out of the chat. So how could something so disorganized, so superficial, so inclusive be of any benefit to an aspiring writer? Wouldn't those three hours be better spent actually writing? No, they wouldn't, at least not for me.

#writechat is the discussion group equivalent of speed dating. Like speed dating, you don't go in with too high of expectations, but an open mind to the possibility of something clicking. In speed dating, you might not meet the person of your dreams, but you could learn a bit about yourself through the quickfire conversations. You definitely discover a lot more of the things you aren't looking for in a mate. In #writechat, while looking for the secret that removes every obstacle to a successful writing career you'll find kernels of advice that chip away at those obstacles. You'll also have a few of those private superiority moments, when you realize you have progressed as a writer. And finally, like speed dating, you might "meet" someone who you engages you in a way that you want to carry the conversation further. Twitter's follow feature is only one click away.

What did I gain from this past Sunday's #writechat? The two questions that started the whole thing roiling (and nearly stayed on point the whole three hours!) were posed by this week's guest moderator, @markdavidgerson, "How do you define success as a writer?" and "Are you okay calling yourself a writer if you're not published?". I've always been pretty clear on my answer to the first, but the second question, which so many other writers had no problem answering in the affirmative, has always been one of my inner demons. I know that if I don't call myself a writer, if I have some sort of inner shame or inferiority about my work, it will never be as good as it can be. If I don't respect my work, who will? #writechat, with all its crazy side conversations, occasionally spamming, and pure off topic discourse, taught me one thing yesterday. I AM A WRITER.  Thank you to all who participate in #writechat, and especially to WritingSpirit ,the founder of #writechat.

"....'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.”

The quote is from Mary Pickford and the sentiment is that although it's been four weeks since I last worked on the exercises laid out in The Creativity Book: A Year's Worth of Inspiration and Guidance" by Eric Maisel, I am not quitting. I am back at Week 6, and it is all about forgiveness. My "enemies list" has been made (and will stay private, for obvious reasons). What I have learned from listing the 24 people that came to mind in 10 minutes is that there are a few people who I harbor ill will against for a variety of reasons, and several who have only done one thing that I haven't gotten past. I've also learned that my dip into the Middle Way has left me unable to only see the negative. As I made the list, I started thinking of ways each of these people had helped me. As the exercise proceeds, I am to forgive each person (mentally, as this is NOT a 12 step program) and become a healthier person. A healthier person is a more creative person, right? My mind boggles at what Van Gogh could have done if this is true.

It's PRETEND TO BE A TIME TRAVELER DAY!!

Sure, it's as silly as any of the other artificial holidays, but it's my kind of silly! I love learning about the everyday life of days long ago, I love the "fish out of water" concept of someone doing their best to survive in a foreign time period, and when you open your mind to perspectives of thought not of this time period, you learn a lot about yourself. TV shows like Highlander and Doctor Who can hold my attention no matter how bad the writing or character development. The film Somewhere In Time is as sappy as a maple tree in March, but I can watch it over and over and over (and tear up at the end every time). I will read the world's worst writing if the research on the time period is decent and the protagonist is gaining something from their experience.

I don't know who started Pretend To Be A Time Traveler Day, but I plan to celebrate in my own small way. When I'm out and about this afternoon, I'll be doing my best to phrase my speech in the patterns of a late 19th century Londoner, and I'll be wearing a scarf in honor of that very great time traveler, The Doctor.

My favorite writing books

There are enough books about writing that if you took the time to read them all, you'd never have time to write. (I don't think that's irony, I think it's that the people who write books about writing know that other authors are always looking for way to work on their writing without actually doing it. We're a crowd that begs to be distracted.) I won't pretend to have read even a small percentage of all those books, but I've read enough to know that there are some good ones, some repetitive ones, and some that are just plain wrong. Of the good ones, there are three that are on my desk all the time, right next to my thesaurus and dictionary. In reverse order of which ones I would save if my computer caught fire and the whole desk were about to go up in flames:

3. Coaching the Artist Within by Eric Maisel - Maisel has a pretty cool job, coaching and teaching people to coach writers, painters, actors and other creative types. He's written a lot of books about what stops us from creating, how to get deep down to the part of us that doesn't judge our work before we ever set pen to paper, and most importantly, that creation is Work. It's not magic, it's not a "either you have it or you don't" ability, and it's not easy. Coaching the Artist Within covers all the roadblocks, self made and external, that we allow to get in our way so that we don't have to do the work. I've got several of Maisel's other books, but this is the one that speaks to me when I need a kick in the butt.

2. Room to Write: Daily Invitations to a Writer's Life by Bonni Goldberg - This is a wonderful little book full of writing prompts and exersises that are more than prompts and exercises. Each starts with a few paragraphs explaining why whatever the prompt is exploring is important to a writer, then gives the directions for a short writing assignment, and ends with a quotation from published writers, statesmen, artists, etc. that connects to the exercise. This is the book I grab, open to a random page, and start writing when my muse doesn't show up for work.

3. Bird by Bird:Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott - This is my writing bible. When I am lost and ready to give up, this is the book that reminds that lost is okay and giving up was never really an option. There's good nuts and bold advice about writing in here, mixed in with a lot of "you're not the first person to feel this way and you won't be the last". This is the book of reassurance and compassion that every writer needs to get through those dark days...weeks...and, let's admit it happnes, months.

Ok, now we can start the winter holidays

Time rushes on, but there are still old memories to appreciate, such as this Santa Village my Grandfather built out of scraps in 1930. He was a lucky one, never completely without work, although he did go down to one day (at that time, a ten hour day) a week. The light posts are solid copper pipe - the kind that is being stolen out of buildings now because copper is so valuable. It was someone's trash when he built this.

My favorite Thanksgiving book

It may be the subversive in me, but the one book that I recommend for Thanksgiving reading is Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong by James W. Loewen. It's not only about Thanksgiving, but that one chapter is guaranteed to get you thinking. There's plenty of food for thought throughout this book, and on a day that's become more about gluttony than thankfulness, more fodder for the brain works to everyone's benefit.

2007 Word(s) of the Year

Oxford Universty Press has chosen its word of the year, and it's a good one, I think. It's locavore, a person who chooses to have a smaller negative impact on the environment by obtaining the food for themselves and their families as close to home as possible. Generally, that "close to home as possible" is defined as a 100 mile radius, but depending where the locavore lives, sometimes it's a smaller circle, sometimes it's bigger. As a word and a movement, I think locavore has staying power.

I can't say the same thing for the word of the year chosen by Webster's New World Dictionary. It's environmental too, but Grass Station? That's a new one on me, so good thing they included a definition in their press release: "a theoretical fill-up spot in the not-too-distant future; it reflects America's growing love affair with hybrid cars and vegetable-based fuels (and words), including ethanol and biomass fuels -- some of which really are distilled from plain old grass". Uh-huh. It's an interesting turn of a phrase, but I can't see it becoming a part of many people's working vocabulary. (By the way, Webster's New World Dictionary is not Merriam-Webster, for those of us who believe that dictionaries, like news sources, come with different levels of esteem.)

I'd like to buy a vowel, please

It took me ten days into NaBloPoMo before I drew a complete blank. Not too bad, I think. So, I've gone to the well of prompts from the Writing Prompts group, and found a Saturday one that won't tax my brain too much. (I did say I was drawing a blank, didn't I?)

From Patrick's Place, a Saturday Six.

1. What was the brand and model (if you remember) of the first computer you remember using? A Wang something or other. It was in the math lab at high school, it was huge, ugly, and intimidating as all hell. I never was able to get it to run the math packets we were supposed to use for "independent" learning.

2. What year do you remember using a home computer for the first time? 1990

3. Hype aside, which platform do you prefer: Mac or PC? Mac, baby! (oops! Was that hype?

4. Take the quiz: Are you a Mac or PC? Well, their reasoning is wrong, but the results are right.

You Are a Mac

You are creative, stylish, and super trendy. You demand the best - even if it costs an arm and a leg.

Are You a Mac or a PC?

5. How fair would you consider the quiz to be based on the responses? Not fair at all. (see above)

6. If money were no object, what brand of computer would you most likely purchase? Sticking with Mac, through and through. Even when my hard drive died and we had to scrimp on groceries for a couple months. Mac before meat, that's my motto!

I oughtn't be in pictures.

As a watcher of television and movies, the Writer's Guild of America strike is sort of interesting to me. As a writer who once thought she wanted to be a screen writer, it's more than interesting because these are people who share my art and dreams. A writer is a writer is a writer. We tell stories. It doesn't matter whether they're acted out or on the page, it's the same thing: putting words together to communicate an idea that wasn't there before. I may have realized I do not have the collaborative spirit that a screenwriter needs to have to succeed, and I really suck at not controlling everything my characters do, but still, I think I know what's in the hearts of people who are lucky enough to make things up for a living.

I find myself following the posts and especially the comments at DeadlineHollywoodDaily. It's the best place I've found to get an almost unbiased look at what's happening with the strike. With every day that goes by, I become more certain that writers do deserve to own what they write, every last bit, unless they chose to sell it free and clear. I also become less certain how people who are known for being introverts and independent thinkers will stick together long enough for a successful strike. I don't know any writers who like to spend a lot of time interacting with other people. Sure, we enjoy watching them. But presenting a united front? Artists? It's just not in our blood. And just how long can people who write because if they couldn't they wouldn't want to live be able to go without writing? I know they're working on stuff on their own, but a big group of those striking folks are used to getting positive strokes for what they do. Can they go back to doing it only for themselves? I know I couldn't. Good thing for me novelists are independent contractors.

A Promulgation

Cool word, huh? It means "a public announcement". I thought something as big as the first day of Nablopomo deserved a special post, and special posts deserve special words. So that explains the grandiloquent title. And what is the post that's deserving of this verbosity? (These words breed like drosophilas....oops, did it again!)

I'm making a public commitment to submit a story to a contest. It's 3500 words, the deadline in December 21, and I have no idea what I'm going to write. Winning is not the target, it's not even on the map. What I need to do is to learn to let things go and I know I'll never do it without a deadline and fear of public embarrassment for failing to meet a goal with such a low bar of achievement, so here I am, promising myself and the virtual world that this time, I will do it.

Now, I only need an idea.

My P.O.V., literally.

Today I start the rebranding of my blog. Considering its rather narrow and infrequent content before, it shouldn't take much to change things around.

I've been reading some discussions on other blogs about mission statements and statements of purpose, something I know that is a great way not only for others to see what you're aiming for, but more importantly, so you know what you're aiming for. A lot of writing coaches preach the gospel of not only putting your goals in writing, but clearly defining the benchmarks that determine if you're working towards those goals or not. In the coming weeks, I hope to do just that sort of thing - get those plans and "I'm going to do X,Y,and Z before the end of the year!" out of my head and into the virtual permanent record of the internet.

But first (ohhh, I am so good at those "but firsts!"), I thought I'd share what my actual point of view is - my view from my desk. This is where I do 100% of my creative writing, and about 90% of my blogging. And in doing this, I introduce the theme of my Sunday posts: My P.O.V. Sunday will be a photopost day of things I've seen that affect me personally. My lack of photography skills will be further proof that words really are the correct medium for art, but I'm going for expression and maybe explanation here. Mundanity will occur more frequently than exceptionality, but that's why it's my P.O.V.

I have a new favorite quote.

Being a word person, I of course appreciate the magic of a well turned phrase. But beyond the perfectly arranged sentence, there are those phrases that hit you at just the right time in your life, and you take them to your heart and keep them there to use as nutrition for your soul. Then your life changes, or you change, and another quote comes along and replaces it because you can't live on one inspiration your whole life.

Here is my new mantra:

The miracle isn't that I finished.
The miracle is that I had the courage to start.

I heard this yesterday on television, while watching the Chicago Marathon. An amateur runner used this to describe how is able to run. You see, this man wasn't the conventional marathoner - he was a large man. And he used to be much larger. A few years ago, he'd gotten the usual bad news that comes to the morbidly obese, and decided to do something about it. (I identified with that too, I'll admit. Life is short, but I'm trying to not make it shorter with bad choices.) Along with a trainer, he took up running, and now this man, who by any standards is still obese, runs in marathons. Amazing.

Unfortunately, I did not catch the name of the man being profiled, but I did catch the quote, which I suspected wasn't original to him. I was right. The original smith of that perfect little "each journey begins with one step" phrase was John Bingham, a couch potato turned fitness and motivational guy. I haven't had a chance to poke around his website yet, but judging from the front page, he's a guy who understands that inertia can a seductive little bitch.

And that's why I love this quote. It sums up how hard it is to ignore all those little voices that stop you from doing whatever is it that you want to accomplish that you've never accomplished before. It is easier to not write. It is easier to not pay attention to what I'm eating. It is easier to stay at the computer than go out for a walk. Because doing what I'm doing is no risk, I know the results. Taking the first step, having the courage to commit to begin, not knowing if I'll succeed? That's what really takes courage.

I've Never Been Much Of A Joiner

If there is a genetic marker for being a hermit, I'm sure I have it. I am a natural loner, and most of the time, I'm quite happy that way. (I guess I wouldn't be one if I wasn't happy, would I?) But, as much as writing is a very solitary pastime, if I go on the way I am I am never going to finish anything. I need to put something out there, and I need someone standing over me to make me do that. So, as you can see by the little badge to the right, I have joined the November-National Blog Posting Month ...ehhh, festival? No, I know that's not right, but it sounds more fun than "You must post to your blog every single day for the entire month, no days off, no exceptions", doesn't it? I think so.

You might be wondering why I don't sign up for the Novel Writing Month wingding (those "happy names" are sticking with me). After all, do I not fancy myself a novelist? Unfortunately, NaNoWriMo carries a lot of negatives in my mind, none due to anything that it actually stands for. I think it's a great idea. I wish I could do it. But every year, I think about all the fanbrats that I know from my years in fanfiction that get involved, and I want no association with that group. Then, I think about how I'm serious about my fiction writing, and a forced march is not how I want to accomplish it. I know there are very talented writers who participate in NaNoWriMo, and I say Huzzah! for them. Me....I just can't join that one.

So, why NaBloPoMo then? Easy. It's not about the novel. It could be about the novel, but I can transgress. Transgress while I still am being more disciplined than normal. I may write some of my "writing exersices here", I may think out loud about something I'm having trouble writing, or I may go off on a rant about adjusting to my partner now being a telecommutor and how that's changing my creative life as well as my family life.

So, I've joined NaBloPoMo, I intend to complete the task, and I still keep a level of independence from falling "rules".